Blogs require immense work and dedication and I have been very ill-disciplined on both fronts. I am completing a thesis at the moment, that’s the excuse I’m running with. I have also let a beautiful puppy come into and fill my life and because he is such a treasure thought it was time I shared him a bit with the world. Introducing Montgomery Fairweather:
These photos are from a while back when I was in Anglesea visiting my parents at the start of the orchid season. My mother had already been for a few walks searching for orchids before I arrived, but I spotted the first one, on my first walk! Beginner’s luck. My mother was not too pleased. We’re a rather competitive family about the silliest things.
I am feeling very angry of late. Angrier than I usually feel. I don’t like anger much as an emotion, because it doesn’t seem to achieve much other than waste your own energy. But I have to admit despite my dislike for this emotion, I am prone to experiencing it quite frequently. Never before have I been as angry as I now am. I thought perhaps it was due to the devastating disappointment I have felt in response to the way some people I care very deeply about have behaved. Perhaps it is the remnants of overwhelming heartache. The discovery that a family member is very ill. The sheer amount of shit I have had to put up with in every aspect of my life this year.
While these are, I’m sure, contributing factors to my sense of world fatigue –my intolerance levels being at an all time high – I don’t think they quite explain the explosive anger I feel. No, I think the anger is due to the fact that the world seems to be in the grip of the greatest level of stupidity I have ever encountered. Examples (and some of these deserve and shall in time receive a dedicated post):
- The unbelievable commentary (mainly from men) on the reproductive rights of women. The sheer number of stupid comments that have come out over the last couple of weeks is horrifying.
- The fact that the protesting miners in South Africa are now being charged with the murder of their fellow strikers even though they were shot and killed by police. Jacob Zuma’s inability to see how fragile his leadership is in the wake of Malema’s seizure of political opportunism is staggering.
- A super trawler may be allowed to enter the waters of Tasmania where it has been approved to catch 18 000 tonnes of redbait and makerel annually
- Some ass at the Republican Convention threw peanuts at an African American CNN reporter, saying, “This is how we feed animals.”
- The fact that Paul Ryan has been given an even greater voice in American politics, contributing to the explosion of Far Right values in ‘mainstream’ political discussions. Just as a reminder: Ryan was a co-sponsor of Todd Atkin’s “The Sanctity of Human Life Act” that views the fertilized egg as having the same constitutional rights as a human being. This would mean that all abortions, including ones following a rape or for medical concerns (like the mother’s health) would be illegal and would even mean certain contraceptives like the pill would be unconstitutional because they prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg. What century are we living in?
- I haven’t even mentioned the asylum seeker debacle in Australia, for fear of taking years off my life, but for a summary on some of the most stupid opinions voiced on this issue just watch Go back to where you came from on SBS. Michael Smith and Peter Reith deserve special mention in the stupidity ranks. This issue, of course, deserves many posts of its own. For now, I’d just like to draw your attention to the fact that Australia’s foreign aid might be used to fund the building of detention centres in Nauru and on Manus Island. There aren’t words for the level of disgust I feel for the Australian government if this is to be the case.
I’m not claiming to have the answers for a lot of these issues, but what I do wish is that the rhetoric used and the debates we are having could have moved on by now. The fact that we are even debating the rights of a woman to choose is astounding to me. The fact that a trawler the size of the MV Margiris could even be considered acceptable to enter the fishing waters of Tasmania is dumbfounding. The fact that the asylum seeker debates still rages on in Australia…no words. And that homosexual marriage is still considered illegal. My god, people, what are we talking about?
What is it about grief that you can’t get outside of it? That other people can’t get inside of your grief? Try as they might to understand with the best of their abilities and the best of intentions it seems an impossibility. While ‘inside’ the grief I’m currently experiencing for numerous unfortunate events that have occurred in my life of late, I cannot get outside of it. I want to. I want to have perspective. I think about the people of Syria, their suffering and I think I have no right to complain, I have no right to sadness, that my grief is a form of selfishness too awful to contemplate and still, I grieve. The sadness and pain still sits heavy on my heart and mind, weighs me down, when really I know how lucky I am, how full of love and opportunity my life is. I always thought perspective would keep me sane and sound, but ‘perspective’ is not enough to get you outside of grief.
People say trite things like: the world never gives you more than you can handle. I have no response to this other than this is the biggest load of shite I have ever heard. It seems to justify the suffering of others by congratulating them on their ‘strength’. I feel about this religiousioethical bullshit the same way I feel about Karma. Life deals some people a bad hand, mostly this is undeserved, looking for metaphysical explanations for this is not helpful.
I don’t have answers for grief and suffering, but a friend made me aware of this the other day and it really caught my imagination:
What are the rules of etiquette regarding reading over someone’s shoulder on public transport? I’m not a particularly nosey person but when it comes to what people are reading, I just can’t help myself. Is this considered terribly rude? I try to be as subtle and non-intrusive as possible.